Managing Holiday Stress: Tips for Moms to Protect Their Mental Health
Written by Shelley Campbell
The holiday season can be one of happy families, warm kitchens, soft cookies, and laughter. For many moms it can also be a time of family and societal pressure to perform, to be gracious and giving in beautifully decorated homes, and to be perfect. This can be overwhelming in our season of peace, and we can forget to tend to ourselves during the hustle and bustle of caring for others.
The lives of women and moms are often quite full each day with minimal time for self-care. The holiday season can be the icing on the cake for exhausted moms everywhere. There's the holiday programs with the kids, the lunches and work events, shopping, and deciding how to spend the days with family. The overwhelming pressure to provide a stellar performance during the holidays can feel like an extra burden for moms who are already juggling so many tasks. The additional mental load of unrelenting cheer and togetherness can be exhausting, even when we love the holiday season. Trying to find balance within ourselves and how to spend our time becomes a trickier tightrope than usual. However, it is possible to find that balance. We can assess what we value most this season, and we can move those things to the top of the list. And the activities that we don’t love doing, we move to the bottom of the list. And then we spend exactly how much time we want doing the things we love with the people we cherish. And if we never make it to the bottom of the holiday to-do list, that’s ok.
Authenticity and genuineness are valuable tools. There are many pressures at the holidays, but we can actually choose how we want to spend our time, and with whom we want to spend it. There are things that we may feel obligated to do. Things that we have done for so many years that we just keep doing without giving thought to whether or not we enjoy them. Perhaps it’s what we’ve always done, or perhaps it is something we think is expected of us. When we perform on that level, we lose our authentic selves in that space and it can feel like we are masking to make it through. A fake smile and performance just to get by can ultimately lead to resentment, and an unpleasant holiday experience.
Communicating your needs and advocating for your family can help to reduce stress and improve experiences overall. It’s perfectly ok to do something different from what you’ve done before if it feeds your needs better. At this time, more self-care is needed. Not less. The holidays can be so hard for so many people, for so many reasons. Everyone you meet is on edge. Holding space for that, and for the anxiety and pressure to perform you may feel can be incredibly heavy. Now is the time to care for yourself so that you are able to advocate for your children and your family. Communicate with those around you honestly and feel empowered to say no to an invitation or expectation. The holidays can be peaceful and enjoyable when we allow space for ourselves to slow down and appreciate the things happening right in front of us instead of thinking about all the things we have to do.
Taking the path that feels right for you is ok. Speaking up for what you want and need is powerful. Showing up wherever and however feels the most authentic to you can be your path if you choose. We can be masters of our holiday experience. We can choose what to value and what to let go; who to spend our time with and when. And we can leave any situation when it no longer becomes enjoyable. We can take the mask off and let our true selves enjoy the season without resentment. We are not obligated to suffer because we always have before. We are the protectors of our peace. And we are the protectors of our children’s peace. And Peace is an excellent new holiday tradition.
Having a toolbox of resources ready when we become overwhelmed can make all the difference in how we are able to show up and respond to the world happening around us. Knowing where to go and who to talk to when things get a little too hectic for comfort can provide an extra layer of support. Becoming familiar and strategic with our self-care plans is an excellent tool for holiday survival. Finding a support group or a therapist can also be beneficial when exploring your boundaries around prioritizing self-care. Mental health support is needed year-round, and it is especially important to not neglect ourselves during the holidays.
At Mamaya Health, we prioritize support and accessibility for moms, because moms matter too. Explore our website at www.mamayahealth.com to learn more about how we are working to support moms like you.