Bringing a new baby home is often viewed as a happy time filled with unconditional joy. While this is true, it is not the whole story. Often, happiness and joy are mixed with a variety of emotional struggles. Many parents feel anxious, disconnected, depressed, and overwhelmed. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.
1 in 5 new mothers and 1 in 10 partners struggle with something called a Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorder (PMAD)—a variety of mood and mental health conditions that emerge during large hormonal shifts, often associated with the perinatal and postpartum phases.
PMADs can include:
- Perinatal or Postpartum Depression
- Perinatal or Postpartum Anxiety Disorder
- Perinatal or Postpartum OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
- Perinatal or Postpartum Psychosis
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Bipolar Mood Disorder
One of the hardest parts of experiencing PMADs is that they often go unspoken. Many people don't understand the truth behind PMADs—and may even feel as though what they're experiencing is normal, or that they should just push through. That's where loved ones come in. When family members understand the truth behind PMADs, they're better equipped to provide support.
Here are 7 common PMAD myths—and the truths you need to know.
Myth #1: "It's Just The Baby Blues"
Truth: Feeling emotional or overwhelmed right after birth is common. The "baby blues" affect up to 80% of new moms. But when those intense feelings start to interfere with sleep, appetite, bonding, or your ability to function, it may be something more serious.
People often dismiss what they're feeling because they believe they should just "tough it out." This prevents parents from getting the help they need. These are not just "bad days"—they are real mental health conditions that deserve real treatment. If symptoms last longer than two weeks or significantly impact daily life, it's time to seek support.
Myth #2: PMADs Only Happen During the Perinatal Phase
Truth: PMADs don't follow a schedule. They can appear weeks, months, or even a year after pregnancy or major parenting transitions begin. PMADs can occur during any stage of the reproductive journey, including:
- During pregnancy (antenatal or prenatal depression/anxiety)
- While trying to conceive, especially after fertility treatments
- After miscarriage, stillbirth, or pregnancy loss
- During perimenopause and menopause
- During postpartum weaning
- During any significant hormonal shift, even months after birth
- During major transitions like returning to work or stopping breastfeeding
If someone is feeling off, no matter when, they deserve to be taken seriously.
Myth #3: "They Don't Seem Sad, So It Must Be Okay"
Truth: PMADs don't always look like sadness or tears. Some people may seem "high-functioning" on the outside while silently struggling. In fact, PMADs often show up as:
- Irritability or anger
- Emotional numbness
- Panic attacks
- Difficulty bonding
- Severe exhaustion
This myth keeps people silent because they worry they don't feel "bad enough" to receive help. The truth is: if something feels off, that's enough reason to reach out.
Myth #4: "A Good Parent Wouldn't Feel This Way"
Truth: PMADs have nothing to do with parenting ability or love for a child. PMADs are medical conditions, not character flaws.
They can affect anyone, regardless of how much they planned, how much support they have, or how deeply they love. Sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, birth trauma, and prior mental health history all contribute. Society paints parenthood as a time of instant bliss, leaving little room in that narrative for exhaustion, fear, disconnection, or rage—even though those are completely normal.
Parents may ask themselves, "What's wrong with me?" when the real question is: "What kind of support do I need?"
Myth #5: "If They Really Need Help, They'll Ask"
Truth: Many parents who are experiencing PMADs suffer in silence. They may not know how to ask for help—or be afraid to. Some fear judgment. Others worry they'll be seen as incapable. Many don't even have the words to describe what they're going through.
Shame, fear, exhaustion, and confusion keep people from reaching out. That's why support from loved ones can be life-changing. Try saying:
- "How are you really feeling?"
- "How are you sleeping lately?"
- "I'm here for you, no matter what."
- "I'm proud of you and I see your effort."
- "Is there anything I can help you with today?"
You don't have to fix it. You just have to be there.
Myth #6: "You Only Need Help If It's Really Bad"
Truth: Mental health support is not just for crisis moments. You don't have to wait to hit rock bottom before reaching out. In fact, the earlier someone gets support, the better. Therapy, peer groups, medication, rest, and movement all play a role in healing—and can start as soon as someone begins to struggle.
Suggesting help isn't about labeling someone or judging them. It means you love them enough to want them to feel better—and to know they don't have to do it alone. Join a Mamaya peer support group if you're looking for community without the wait.
Myth #7: "This Only Happens to Mothers"
Truth: PMADs affect all kinds of parents, including fathers, non-birthing partners, adoptive parents, and LGBTQ+ parents. In fact, 1 in 10 fathers experience postpartum depression—and many more struggle with anxiety, rage, or emotional shutdown. But because there's even less awareness around PMADs in men and partners, they often feel invisible.
Mental health is a family issue. When one person suffers, everyone feels it. And when one person gets support, the whole family can begin to heal.
What You Can Do To Help
- Listen without judgment or trying to fix the problem
- Offer practical help — meals, errands, baby-holding, laundry
- Encourage support: "There are people who really understand this. You don't have to carry it alone."
- Stay connected — keep checking in, even if they don't always respond
- Respect their pace — healing is not linear
If You're the One Struggling
You are not weak. You are not failing. You are not alone. PMADs are treatable. You deserve support that meets you with compassion and understanding.
At Mamaya Health, we offer specialized, trauma-informed therapy for parents during pregnancy and postpartum. Our providers understand the emotional complexities of your experience, and we meet you where you are—no judgment, no shame, no pressure.
PMADs are real, common, and treatable. If you or someone you care about is struggling, connect with Mamaya Health. Healing is possible—and families can emerge stronger than ever.
